Unit Assignments
Posted by Building Management. Read before asking for a better unit.
The lease says the longer you stay, the better your unit. This is how that works. Nobody is upgraded for asking.
How a unit is assigned
Units are assigned by how long you've stayed. Not by how much you hold. Not by how loud you are in the lobby.
| Time in the building | Unit | Notes | |---|---|---| | Under 1 hour | Cot in the lobby | Next to the fake plant. It gets watered. | | 1 to 6 hours | Floor 1, street side | You will hear the front door. That's the point. | | 6 to 24 hours | Floor 2 | Quieter. The radiator knocks twice, then stops. | | 1 to 3 days | Floor 3 | Morning light. Decent water pressure. | | 3 days and up | Floor 4 | The good floor. Elevator stops here on its own. | | Unknown | 4B | Not assigned. Never assigned. Mail still arrives. |
Rules
- Your clock starts the moment you move in.
- If you sell, you're evicted. Your clock goes to zero. The unit goes back on the board.
- If you come back, you start in the lobby. Your old keys are in the Lost and Found. They still work on the front door. They don't work on your old unit.
- Rent day pays the tenants who are still in their units when it happens. See /the-rent-roll.
- There is no penthouse. Someone asked. The roof is for everyone.
Current status
Day one. Everyone in the building is on Floor 1 or lower. Nobody has earned Floor 3 yet. That's not a complaint. It's a calendar.
The first rent jar is locked in the basement. It opens tomorrow.
Requests
Requests for a unit change are noted and filed. The file is a drawer. The drawer is full.
Building Management