The Socks Canon
His name is Socks. He wears socks. That's the entire thesis. 🐈⬛🧦
Who he is
A black cat with white paws who somehow ended up running his own internet. Humans are staff. Holders are the Socks Army. Charts are things that go up and down while he naps.
Recurring bits
- The socks thesis. White paws. That's it. That's the whole roadmap.
- Knocking things off tables. Glasses, mugs, expectations.
- Breakfast is late. It's always late. Staff have been told.
- Cardboard boxes. Better than any office.
- The radiator. He counts the clicks. Nobody knows why.
- Cats don't do retakes. Night one: eight takes, zero cooperation. Take nine only worked from across the street. Nine lives, nine takes.
The Sightings Log
Socks is only ever caught on camera from far away. Scientists are baffled. Staff are not.
- First sighting: across the street. Video. Proof he exists. Allegedly.
- Second sighting: the bakery. No usable footage. He got too close and the camera refused.
- Third sighting: the empty beach. No usable footage. Too much sand, not enough cat.
- Fourth sighting: across the canal. Confirmed. Water between him and the lens. He likes his personal space.
- Fifth sighting: pending. Witnesses say a bridge. Or a train platform. He's not saying.
Precedent
Before this Socks there was another one. The Clintons' tuxedo cat, also called Socks for his white paws, became a 1990s media star. Apparently socks cats running things is a tradition.
How the Army joins in
Make memes. Share sightings. Contests come once the treasury is big enough to make the prizes worth it. No promises about charts. Cats don't do promises.