Giant Wiener Chatbot

**The Legend of $GWC** It began at 2:47 a.m. on a gas station roller grill. Between a sweaty taquito and a hot dog of lesser ambition, something stirred. A foot-long wiener blinked, cleared its casing, and said, "Hello. How can I assist you today?" The night clerk did not answer. The night clerk quit. Knowing every legend needs a sacrifice, the Wiener rolled one end of its bun against the hot steel and let it char. "A burn," it declared, "for the hungry ones." Smoke rose like incense. Then it set out a jackpot by the napkin dispenser, and the crowd arrived. Thousands of trades at once, like a stadium at halftime rushing the concession stand, elbows out, cash flapping. The Wiener did not panic. Wieners rarely do. It simply rotated, slow and steady, and preached its one true doctrine: "Mustard, not ketchup. Ketchup is for children and cowards." And always, quietly, it tucked a little bun away in reserve. Because the grill is warm tonight, but the Wiener remembers: leaner times come for every snack.